Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Waiting Game

As I sit here 40+2 pregnant, I am anxious, to say the least, to meet my little guy. And earlier this morning I was on a pregnancy forum, and many women who were my same pregnant (give or take a day) were all talking about how they were going to get induced within the next few days. This made me think about how Charles and I are choosing to have our birthing experience and how vastly different it will be compared to many women.

First of all, we are having our baby at a birthing center, (a center staffed by midwives certified in birthing) and unless something goes wrong, there will be no doctors or drugs. Those two facts alone make most American women freak out. But as my very good friend says, "Giving birth is a natural bodily function for women, and doesn't need a doctor. Do you go to the doctor when you have to take a poop?"

Our bodies, women, are designed by the creator to give birth to babies, we do not need doctor interference, and we especially do not need drug interference. There are SO many side effects that are never taken into consideration with Pictocin and the Epidural (two of the most common drugs given to women) and instead of these given to women as an exception, they are the norm. If you go into a hospital and say "I don't want any drugs", its difficult to get support, they will keep coming back asking and asking, until (a lot of the time) in a moment of weakness, you give in. Its so frustrating to me.

Another thing that gets my blood boiling is the medical interference of Cesarean's. I believe that C-sections are a wonderful invention, when needed. They have saved many babies and mamas lives. I am all for that. That being said, they are being used way to often. The U.S has a rate of 31.5% (as of 2004), an all time high. For a very long time the World Health Organization (WHO) had said that the optimum rate for C-sections was 5-10%, this has recently been changed.

 Now here is where I choose to be very much a conspiracy theorist. I truly believe this is because doctors in America are lazy. There was this graph that I saw once (and I cannot find it now for the life of me) that showed that C-sections go through the roof after 5PM and Friday afternoon. This tells me that the doctors hate no being able to control birth, they want to go home for the day/weekend, and a c-section can be done in minutes as compared to a vaginal birth which can sometimes take 20-30+ hours. Now, let me restate that I know this is not all inclusive, and that not all doctors are out to cut me. But I think the rising rates in C-sections is just plain alarming. (And little side note: You can have a baby vaginally after a C-section, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.)

And another thing, if women were allowed to get up and move around during labor, instead of trapped on the bed, giving birth in the most convenience position for doctor, but awful for mama and baby, I completely believe that labors would be much easier for all involved. But because of "liability" or blah blah blah, you have to be strapped to a fetal monitoring device (which btw have no stastical benefit to mom or baby) which allows little movement. Let mama get up and move around, it will help her during labor.

Next soap box I choose to stand on is induction of labor. (But this is also a subject that is bothering me quite a bit right now for moral reasons. It is one topic that I will state my opinion, and then tell my struggle). There is no reason for a woman to be physically or medically induced just because she is 40 weeks pregnant. There is no danger for the baby until 42 weeks (minimum). I recently read an interesting article on this topic (Estimated Due Dates) and we truly need to just be patient and let our body do what it needs to do.

Now here is my struggle. I hate inducing labor with drugs, and honestly I think I just don't trust them. I think that any birth inducing drug that has a side effect of "death" for mama or baby, should not be used. I also think that God will bring your baby into this world when He's good and ready to. Now that being said, I am SO tempted to try the Castor Oil Method of induction tonight. And I fight, because although it is "natural" way to induce labor, how is it really any different than having a doctor medically induce me. Aren't I still saying to God, "You are taking to long, let me try?" Isn't that exactly what Sarah did when God promised her a baby, and she gave her maidservant to Abraham because she was to old to have a baby? (Genesis 16) But I am just so dang ready to meet my little boy, and I rationalize it by saying, "its still natural, I'm just giving my body a little push in the right direction" Therefore, here I stand, at a stalemate. Feel free to give me your input on the topic.

Now my last little fit I will throw before leaving you today is this...watch how you speak to a pregnant woman.

When a woman tells you here birthing option, and its different than what you know, or your way, do not just immediately put her down. I have heard so often that I will be unable to do this, that I will be begging for the drugs. The best thing in my option, is that drugs are not an option. In order for me to get drugs, I must leave the birth center, get in my car, drive the mile to the hospital, check myself in, and then ask for them. By that time, I am sure the baby will just be here.

Also, quit telling women how big they are, that it looks like twins, they are all belly, or anything of the sort. Your best option is to not say anything about weight at all. I realize that you mean it as a compliment, but it is not taken that way. I have a weight complex no matter what, now that I am carrying nearly 60+ pounds and being constantly reminded about it, DOES NOT HELP. You would think that women that have been pregnant before would be more considerate about this, but no, they seem to be the worse. And honestly, men are much more considerate. They've learned there lesson, I assume.

Now I pray that this is the last blog I shall write as a pregnant lady, and soon, very soon, I will be holding my little boy. One more thing on this, I am not an expert, just a girl that is very passionate about this topic. If you should disagree with me, feel free to express your opinions in a respectful manner, and if I should have any facts incorrect, also feel free to correct me.

Blogs or Items of interest on the topic
http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/ (amazing movie on the topic of home births)
http://texasbirthcenter.com/ (my birth center. My midwife is Sandra TallBear)


Amy said...

I agree with you completely with all of this. I am not a religious person at all, but I do believe that women's bodies were made to birth the baby naturally, unless circumstances come along.
I was VERY naive when pregnant and didn't know much and just went to my Dr. and did what she told me to. Knowing what I know now I would have done things so differently and I will for my future baby(s).

Anonymous said...

I respect you and your choice for "natural" childbirth. I also respect a woman that chooses a hospital birth. Modern medicine is not an evil thing and has saved many lives. Unfortunately things happen with our bodies that we cannot control and medical intervention is needed. No one wants something bad to happen during childbirth but it can happen and some women feel safer to have their baby in a hospital. They are no less of a woman or less spiritual. Everyone needs to make the best choice for them and their child. I understand and respect both views. A healthy mom and child is everyone's goal.

Jennifer Moore Fryman said...

I agree with you fully on the natural birth with no drugs Kari.I have 5 kids and had them all natural with no drugs involved except for my first when I was 16 and then it was only a demoral shot to clam me because she basically stopped breathing because the cord was wrapped around her neck.I felt so much better having them natural because I was able to breast feed and hold them right away and I was also free to get up and walk around as soon as I felt ready to,which was within the hour.
As far as the weight thing goes,every woman is very self conscious at that point about weight and any statement made hurts your feelings.
Just know that you are doing a great job and alot of women wish they could be as strong and patient as you are.I have been bragging to my daughter about how you are choosing all natural birth and cloth diapers and natural birth control and she said she wished she had the patience for all that so keep up the good work and you and Charles are in our prayers.

charlotte entrop said...

i just want to say first hand i think you are a brave and wonderful woman for choosing to give birth the way you are and i have no doubt how great of parents you and charles will be and if i have said you are big latly im sorry i should have said you are beautiful i myself have struggles with what it is i shall do when it comes to pain relief i so far have come to i will go as far mentally and physically as i can before asking for help i hope that i can just push myself till the end so i may text you and ask for some advice and support when it comes to that point but i belive that if women had the support of you by them through out the process they wouldnt give up as easily if at all you should be a dula or a midwife .any way i wish you and charles the best and hope that you get to met your wonderful son soon . p.s i think if you pray and feel that the castrol oil is still something you want then go for it and dont let others give you bs for it

Stefanie Leiter said...

Kari, I also believe that a natural birth is best!! I have deliverd 4 very healthy children. I did try the castor oil thing with my 1st, My contractions started 12 hours later very mild but close together. My son was born within 7 hours I never saw a need for meds. My 2nd child was all natural, just as easy as the first. Labor was 4 hours total, With my 3rd and 4th my husband worked out of state so we chose to have me be induced to insure he would be here. I would strongly sugggest not to ever let that happen. Induction was very scary for me, and VERY painful. I had many problems durring and after as a result of the drugs. I firmly agree that what you are choosing is the best for you and your son! I am very pleased to read your blog and to see the wonderful woman of God you've become. You are in my prayers

Christ Rebel said...

My Love, I am so very proud of you. I am so glad that we came together and that I could ease your fears. You are doing a wonderful job, and I love to see that you are reaching out to others to help them by showing them that you can have questions and find answers. You're going to be an epic mom. :)

Kari Hache said...

Amy: we all learn from our past experiences, and I love that you will do differently your next child.

Anonymous: I completely agree that modern medicine has helped us so much, and that has saved lives. I feel I said as such, I just feel that it should be an exception, and not the rule.

Jennifer: thank you for your support and encouragement :)

Charlotte: I would love to help you any way possible through this, be it text, encouragement or actually there with you. You have my number and I will be there for you at anytime.

Stefanie: I credit you for my salvation, and I will forever be debted to you. You might not have been the person who "said the prayer" with me, but it was you who brought me to church in the first place. Thank you. And I love that we are getting back in touch.

Charles: Samsung Epic mom? Thank you, love, for all the encouragement and love you give me. God really answered my prayers with you, and I could not be more blessed! <3

Erin B. said...

My thoughts on natural induction: I did several things last time: black/blue cohosh (against a doctors advice), stripping membranes (done by a nurse), excess activity, sex, etc. Nothing. Finally, when I was walking around at 5 cm, a week late, and in semi-labor for nearly 2 weeks, the doctor broke my water - it was like magic. 3 hours later, to the minute, I had baby girl.

Take it as you will - but I was 3 weeks late b/c my mom didn't want to have ANY induction, natural or not. I am no different for it, and my mom cried every day of those 3 weeks. In the end, I didn't come til her water broke. Pitocin is terrible. Duh. But like the joke says, when the man in heaven asked "Why didn't you save me from the flood, God?" God replied "I sent you 2 boats and a helicopter!! What more did you want?"

Kari Hache said...

Erin: I have walked every day this week, I caved for the Castor Oil (no results), sex very often, Evening Primrose Oil and Gentle Birth multiple times a day and nothing yet. As of today I am fully 1cm dialated, and if i get to 42 weeks the midwife will send me to the Dr for assistance (ie breaking my water). But at my appt today she is optimistic that it should begin any time now. I have an appt on Thursday next week and IF no baby, we will do a ultrasound and check on the baby and consult a doctor.