Friday, June 29, 2012

Day 24 -- Things that make you scared.

My biggest phobia is being decapitated by a log truck. I swear driving behind one gives me such anxiety. I will do some stupid passing maneuvers to stay away from one. I know what you are thinking..."thats because of the movie 'Final Destination'". There is no doubt that watching that movie freaked me out, I oddly had this fear way before seeing that movie. That movie just made my fear come to life right before my eyes. There is a joke with some of my friends now though, that if God gave me any way to die, how would I want it to be. And that answer is, decapitated by a log truck. That way, all of you who think its impossible, and a joke would then know, and at my funeral you would all say, "how did she know?" LOL

 Now for something a tad bit more serious. I have lost my mom and my dad. I would say that I am terrified to lose someone closer to me. If I ever lost Charlie, Ethan, my sister, or any of the other people very close to me, I do not know how I could keep myself together. I was eight when my dad died. I needed to stay strong (due to my pregnancy) when my mom died. I thank God for the strength, but I don't want to experience anymore hurt.
What about you? Any silly phobias? I have a friend scared of cotton balls (freaks out, its weird), another one afraid of ostriches, and I would love to hear some of your silly phobias.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Day 23 -- Personality Pride

Doing this blog took me nearly 2 hours. It really pointed out my self esteem issues even more. I can't even think of three things I like about myself. It's hard. It is something I am trying to work on. Hopefully someday it will be better.

1. I'll do anything for someone I love, just ask Ethan, Charlie, Steffy Jo, Bubba Ray or my close friends. But most of all, Jesus. I love him and will do ANY thing for him.

2. I may not be who I should be, but thank God I am not who I once was. I am constantly trying to stay good. I want to grow in God, I want to be filled with His word and love. I love getting better. Better at being a Christian, better at being a wife and mama, better at cooking, better at blogging. You name it, I want to be better.

This blog asked for three things I am proud of. I can absolutely not think of a third, and sitting here staring is kinda making me feel depressed. So I quit. I am happy at who I am, and I am happy thriving to be better. I am not going to let a blog topic bring me down.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Day 22 -- In this past month, what have you learned

It seems that this has been a month of "give it a try". We are trying vegetarian, I am trying this blog challenge, the crickets are trying to invade my house (oh its bad in central texas right now...those crickets out number us by ALOT). Therefore, I have learned alot this month.

I have learned eating no meat saves money. I have learned that I like sweet potatoes, eggplant, and alot of other veggies. And you don't need meat for it to be yummy food.

I have learned that I just love being in the precense of God's people. I love the support, the love, the closeness, I just love people who love God.

I have learned that every single stage with my son is my new favorite stage. He's growing up so fast, and just getting so much more fun and cute. I absolutely love being a mom.

I have learned that the possibility of adopting a second child would cost a good deal of money. Charlie and I have toss the idea around a little bit. Tons of children with no parents, tons of moms that don't want there children. I did a tiny bit of research today and learned it could cost anywhere from $200-$30,000. Thats a lot of money to help someone out. Kinda makes me sad.

I have (re)learned that water is God's relief in the Texas heat. As we are experiencing our first week of 100 degree days all I can think about is getting in the pool or staying inside. It's hot out there.

I have learned how grateful I am to my friends and their families. In the last month 3 of my super close friends have been reunited with their husbands after being away during a deployment. Each of these wonderful ladies have very small children too. They are insanely strong, and I am so thankful for them, and that their families are reunited.

I am sure that I have learned much more, but for now, that is all I can think of. How has your month been informative for you? Have you learned any useful tidbits?

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Day 21 -- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

My little man and me, 5 months old.
June 21, 2011
12 weeks pregnant with my little man
June 26, 2011

How have I changed in the last year? It has been a year full of change. I got married, I became a mama, and if that wasn't enough, I got baptized, grew in my relationship with Christ. Its been a great year. And probably the most eventful ever. Never in my life have I been so happy, and I would not change a single thing. If all the hurt I had to go through in the past brought me to my life was well worth it. I love you Ethan and Charlie

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Day 20 -- A dream of mine

A far fetched dream I have is to someday open a business of my own.  I vary on what I want to own, sometimes I want to do a hotel/inn, or a restuarant, a store that promotes natural living, I have even played around with the idea of getting a midwifery licence to open a birth center. I change my mind often, but I like to be in charge (who would have and running a place intrigues me.  A new cloth diapering store just opened up in Killeen, and that made me think of this again. We will see....maybe one day I will choose something and go for it.

A restaurant?

A Bed and Breakfast?

Supporting natural living?

Helping pregnant women

For now though, I am completely satisfied with being a wife and a mama, and that is probably why I cannot pin down a thought of just one idea.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Day 19 -- Switcharoo

If I could do a "Freaky Friday" with anyone, who would it be? I think I would want to trade places with someone who had much less than me, someone in a third world country or just really poor. Why? Thats easy. It would help me be more thankful for what I do have, and realize that "things" are just that. I have so many luxuries and yet I still find things to complain about. I have enough money to have clothes that are in good condition, good meals to eat, two working vehicles, a roof over my head, I have no needs. When I look at my life and hear myself complain, I get so embarassed.
We are jeans and t-shirt kind of people.

We stress over bills
We are wasteful
We live comfortably

God has given me so much. I have such a blessed life and yet I find myself complaining. What is wrong with me? People have so much more than me, sure, but people also have so much less than me.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Day 18 -- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

For the past few months (possibly year), Charlie and I have felt like we needed to join a small group at our church and get more in depth involved with Christian people at our church, but we both have been pushing it off for one reason or another. The more we put it off, the further it got from a priority to us, and then I started to face the reality of my closest friends are leaving soon. They are still in the Army world and the Army is making them leave me in November. I started to stress because I am not in any environment to meet new people and just hanging with the same people I always hang out with, and they are leaving me.

So the idea of getting into a small group became a priority again, and I looked for one through our church and with the help of the online community with our church we chose one on Thursday nights. Well Thursday came and went, and Saturday evening it dawned on me...."Darn it, I wanted to try that small group and forgot all about it." Once I realized we missed it, I put it on our Google calendars so it wouldn't happen again.

Back to what I am proud of....Charlie and I finally made the plunge and we went to small group tonight. Satan had it out for us though, and wanted to stop us from going. First of all, we went for a drive and just wanted to get out of the house today, and ended up not back in town until 6:00PM and small group started at 6:00. Well we had to stop at the house and change Ethan and nurse him, and ended up leaving the house around 6:10PM, at that point we were both so close to nixing the whole idea, because we both hate being late. By the time we got to the church it was quarter after and I was getting frusterated because I hate being late. We walked around the building that we were told the group was in, and all the doors were locked. Finally we decided to try the main building, but by now it was 6:25PM, and I was getting grumpy and anxious.

The moment we opened the door where the group was meeting, all anxiety melted away. They were friendly, and inviting. Laughter filled the room. I was hugged hello. Ethan was loved on immediately. It was amazing. Without knowing a single person in the room, I felt like this is where God wanted me.

I am so proud of us for actually pushing through the grumpiness and getting our tushies in there. I am proud of us for opening up to the group. I am proud of us for already making sure we are going to make it a priority in the future.

As always, I would love to hear from you, have you done anything in the last few days/week that you are proud of?

Also, don't forget we are still trying to get to 100 "likes" over at our facebook page. Please head over to my facebook page and "like" us. If I get to 100 before the end of my 30 day challenge one luck winner will receive a handmade hemp bracelet and necklace.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Day 17 -- Short term goals for this month

During the month of June I have two different 30 day challenges going on. One, is obviously, to blog everyday, and the other is to eat vegetarian, more specifically not to purchase meat with our grocery trip.

As we are trying to be more mindful with our money, we have made a few changes to try to save (use the AC as little as possible, hang laundry outside to dry, and not to purchase meat to name a few). The point of this goal was to save money on the grocery bill (which it did, it brought our $300 monthly bill down to $240), we have on the other hand seen other benefits. We don't eat out nearly as much, which obviously saves money also. Because of those two changes, I have noticed a drop of about 5 pounds.
Charlie is a "meat and potato" kind of guy, so we really weren't sure how we would like this experiment. Well I am pleased to say that after nearly 3 weeks of preparing meals with no meat, there has been only one meal that he hasn't liked. And we are intaking so much more vegetables and learning vegetables that we didn't even know we liked.
Another goal I have is to make it to the pool a few times a week with Ethan. The point with this is to help Ethan become acclamated with the Texas weather, learn to love the water, and get a small workout in (not to mention getting me out in the Texas weather a little this summer). Our only issue with this is that having Ethan around the chlorine so often isn't very good for him, however the lakes are gross and all of them cost money, so we are in a catch-22.

Finally, one last short term goal I have is to not waste money. Charlie and I both have a bad habit of wasting money, whether it is on eating out, or wasteful spending on things not needed. In the last month, we have gotten very good about not wasting as much and being better at watching our spending. The goal is to continue on the better habits that we have begun.

Are there any short term goals that you are planning throughout the summer?

Monday, June 18, 2012

Day 16 -- Picture of Someone Who has the Biggest Impact on Your Life

When I truly found Jesus and made a turn to live my life for him, it changed me radically. Before, I was an adulterer, liar, thief, and so much more. But when I made a choice to follow Jesus, he saved me. He turned me from all those things I used to be and into his beautiful child. The sin has been taken away and "as far as the east is from the west" is how far he took it. I thank Jesus everyday that he did not force me to love him, and that he patiently waited for me to come to him. Because of it being my willful choice, and knowing the price he paid for my salvation, it means so much more to me.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Day 15 -- Favorite Super Hero

To start this out, I am not a superhero kind of girl. Up until the last few months I had never seen Thor, Iron Man, Hulk, or Captain America. Due to the release of "The Avengers" my husband was shocked I had never seen them, and asked me to watch them with him. I will admit, they were not bad, just not a movie I would pick out myself. So when I started thinking about this blog and what superhero to choose, I was completely unsure. However, I wanted to give this blog a real answer and not just skate through it with no effort given. So I went and did a Internet searched and pulled up the Wikipedia page on "Superhero's" and I even went to a website called "Superhero Database" and read up on some superheroes (and superheroines). Needless to say, I was in nerd heaven, and was lost.

I read the bio's on a few superheros I knew of, Superman, Batman, Captain America, Hancock and some I never heard of, Ariel and Zatanna. I read the comments on each of them. People are arguing about who is stronger Superman or Hancock, Batman or Captain America. People get as passionate on their superheros as I do on Labor/C-section and Breastfeeding. It was fun to be brought into a different world for a few hours. A world that is so out of my realm, but I still can relate to.

That brings us to my answer. Who is my favorite super hero and why? After reading up on a few of them, I have decided to choose......Batman.

I chose Batman because according to the Superhero database, although Batman has no super power he is one of the best super heros on pure intelligence alone. Batman can beat his opponents by wit. And if that doesn't work, he can always fall back on the insane amount of Martial Arts he knows. According to his back story, Bruce Wayne became Batman after watching his mother and father be murdered. He swore that he would protect Gotham City. I can relate to this, I watched drugs kill my mother and father, and I also swore never to touch them. Batman always seems so calm and collective, and that deep voice is so intimidating.

Obviously my research on Superheros is no where near exhaustive enough to claim to be an expert, nor to say that had I learned about others I may had a different answer, but as of now, learning what I have learned about Batman, I choose him.

Who is your favorite superhero? It was a fun topic, lets continue the discussion.

Also, I am having a little contest over at my facebook page, if I receive 100 "likes" before my 30 day challenge is up, then one lucky winner will receive a handmade hemp bracelet and necklace. We are already at 54 and today is the halfway point. If you have not already "liked" my page, please do so now.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Day 14 -- A habit you wish you didnt have

Two things come to mind when I read today's topic. First I wish I wasn't so chained to the computer. And secondly, I wish I didn't care so much what others thought of me. Considering the second one is not really a habit, I have decided to talk about my dependency on the computer.

The computer, specifically facebook, has become such a crutch in my life. I think regularly about shutting down my facebook account. What stops me is the support groups I have there, and my family is in Michigan, and we keep in touch through facebook, especially now with Ethan. I truly do not know if these reasons are legitimate or just a reason to keep myself online.

You see, I don't have a ton of friends in Killeen right now, and the few close friends I do have are getting close to leaving (they will all be gone by November), so my friends in the computer make me feel less alone. If I am feeling any such way, I have someone to talk to. I am apart of La Leche League support groups (breastfeeding), weight loss/healthy living support groups, I have family members, I have high school acquaintances, not to mention my newest group of friends that live apart of my blogging world.

I think that the Internet has become a way to hide in my comfort zone, yet not feel alone or depressed (although writing this blog has suddenly made me feel that I am depressed, lol). On the plus side though, Without Wednesday's bring me one step closer to life outside the interwebs. And each week I spend the day offline, I love it more and more. Who knows, maybe one day, I will be web-free.

So, what is the habit you wish you could kick? I would love to hear.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Day 13 -- My wish for the future

My wish for the future has always been the same. When I die, I want everyone to think/say that.....

 I loved Jesus

that I was a great wife

the best mom possible
My desire is to do all of those things so well, that there is no doubt in anyones mind that those three things are the most important things to me. These are the things that matter....not the money in the bank account, not the job I have, not how clean my house is.

 I want to leave a legacy. I want for generations my children, and their children, and their children to say how great Grandma Kari was. I want for my grandchildren to know that Grandma Kari was always happy, always loving, always spoiling but still strict. That Grandma Kari loved Jesus more than anyone they knew, followed Him to the best of her ability. And not to mention that no ever doubt the love Grandma Kari always had for Grandpa Charlie.

With all the death I have experienced in my life there is lots of talk about "how" certain people lived their life.

I am told all the time that there was no doubt, my dad loved us kids more than anything.
My mom was only strict because she wanted us to grow to be responsible adults.
Grandma loved Jesus and just wanted to go home to him.

However, a long with those great things, I am overwhelmed by the negative that took over their lives (or death).

My dad is more well known for his suicide than for his love for his children.
My mom is currently more well known for the drugs that overtook her life than for the good she did for us.
My great grandmas death created a wedge in our family that is still there years after her death.

My prayer is that more positive things are remembered about me than negative. I don't want to be remembered for my past, the infedelities, lies, divorce. I want to be remembered for the future, my love, my commitment, my parenting.

What type of legacy do you want to leave behind? If you were to die today, what would you be remembered for? Think on that for a little bit today?

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Day 12 -- My favorite place

In my husband's arms

playing on the floor making my little guy laugh
I tried to think of literal places to do this blog for but I just could not think of any place I loved more than these two places. What can I say, I am a simple gal.

What about you? Where is your favorite place?