Friday, January 27, 2012

Ethan's Debut

As many of you have been asking, and I have been eager to comply, here is the story as to how my little bundle of joy entered the world.

On Saturday, January 21, I woke up to contractions. They were not intense, but consistant and getting more as the day went on. By 11pm I was timing them less than 3 minutes apart and pretty intense (little did I know how much more intense they would get) so we headed to the birth center. When we arrived at the birth center Sandra, my midwife, took our vitals and she got a heartbeat for Ethan in the 90's (for those who are unsure of what it should be, 120 is low, and normal is 140-170) and so Sandra was terrified and we literally were on the way to the hospital within 2 minutes. The hospital was about a mile away and she had me on my hands and knees trying to change the heart rate. When we got to the hospital we never seen another heart beat that low, or anywhere out of normal. A consistant 150-160 bpm. However the nurse on duty said she was not completely satisfied with how he was responding to contractions. She wanted his heart beat to accelerate by 15 bpm for 15 seconds and Ethans was only doing 10 bpm for 10 seconds. Therefore she did not want to release me, but "I was not a prisioner" so I could leave, but I would have to sign an AMA (Against Medical Advice) and then insurance would probably not pay for the visit. So needless to say, Charles and I definitely felt like we were a "prisoner" and that made me super grumpy. However after my level headed husband and I talked about it more we realized that staying was not neccessarily the worst decision. We had set an appointment for induction on Monday anyhow and it was already Sunday morning. (Our ultrasound the week prior showed that my amoitic fluid was borderline dangerous for Ethan, so we had decided that if labor had not started on its own by Monday that we would go ahead with the induction (by then we would have been 42w1d anyhow).
About 330am, before being admitted in.

During our contemplation Sandra got a call from another patient of hers who was 36 weeks pregnant and her water had broke, so Sandra had to rush off to help her. Her partner midwife, was on call if/when we needed her to come in and be with us. So now it was just Charles and I (the only person I needed or wanted was right there holding my hand, LITERALLY the entire time).

1030am, I am trying to keep a smile, but you can see how exhausted I am.
Much worse picture of me, but better shows my status.
So we finally made the decision to be admitted into the hospital and start the induction. By 5am the doctor had given the order to start, very slowly, the pitocin. At this time I was a tight 3 cm dialated. By 9am, contractions got worse, and I was 5 cm. This is also when the doctor decided to break my water. Which was so low that there was hardly anything to come out. Ethan was ready to be born.  Charles said that when the nurse told me that I was 5 cm I looked so releived (and I was, I felt like I was half way there, and I could handle these contractions. I felt like I was doing just fine). Between 9am and 11am though, is when things started to take a turn for the worse for me. Contractions started to get much worse, and I was barely being able to handle them. I was looking forward to being checked again at 11am, because the nurses had told me that the average was a cm an hour and I was praying to be at 7 cm and that we were getting closer. But when I was checked at 11am, I was only 6 cm.

This is when I mentally and physically broke down. It had been 26 hours of being awake, constant contractions and over 12 hours since I had last eaten, and the contractions were literally 1.5 minutes apart and soooo intense. I was just spent. I needed a break and there was not a break to be seen. When the nurse left the room after that check, I turned to Charles and broke down crying, and telling him I needed the epidural. He knew how much I was against it, so he encouraged me to keep it up and telling me how awesome I was doing and that I could do it. I balled my eyes out and told him that at the VERY BEST I had 5+ hours left of this and I just couldn't do that without a break. I just needed to rest, and I knew that the epidural could allow a rest. I begged and begged. Once he realized that I was sure about my decision and knew I would not regret it, we told the nurse.

This was approximately noon and the nurse said that it would take about 30 minutes to get the guy in there to give it to me. Well that 30 minutes turned to an hour, and the contractions were still not giving me any break. I was crying, I was in pain, I just couldn't handle it. Finally he showed up and gave me the epidural, but it took him (and I promise you I am not exagerating at all here) 6 times to get the needle in the "right" spot on me. And if you have had an epidural before, you know they are painful, and you have to stay very still, ALL WHILE GOING THROUGH CONTRACTIONS. VERY intense contractions by this point. Finally he said that he got it in and I should be experiencing relief within minutes. And I was. Finally....I could breathe, I could handle a contraction without crying. But then within minutes, the pain returned, but only on one spot on my hip and right in the middle of my butt. And at first it was managable but still there, then just minutes later, they got to the point of crying again, and they said that I couldn't have anymore of the epidural then I had, but I was still feeling everything.

So the guy called his boss in to check it out, and they decided to poke me AGAIN to try to get the epidural in the right spot. So I get stuck a seventh time, and an eight time (not kidding). But finally it worked, and finally (its 1:30-2:00 by now) I get relief, I could rest. God answered my prayer. I felt like I could handle anything now that I could take a break from the constant pain.

At 3pm the nurse checked me again....still 6 cm. I had been at 6 cm now for 4 hours and not progressing. So the doctor came in and explained to me that I was nearly at my max dosage of pitocin (38 cc) and not progressing at all. She said, she knew I did not want a c-section and it was completely my choice, but from the looks of things it looked like we could continue like this for days with no progress. Ethan had JUST started showing slight signs of distress from the contractions, so it was just up to us. Charles looked at me, and said, "I think we need to do it hun" and I agreed. So we told the doctor that we could go ahead and do the c-section.

Minutes prior to the surgery
The next step was to call my sister and mother in law so they knew what was going on (Charles had kept them updated through out the night as well). And they both promised prayers, as well as Ethan's Godmother and my Aunt Trixie (the same wonderful woman). And right before I was being taken away the "on call midwife" showed up and prayed with me. And Charles and I prayed together. A lot of prayers were going up on my behalf, and those were the only ones that prayed with me, or directly IN THE MOMENT told me they were praying, but I know that many others were as well.

Dad scrubbed up, and ready to go

Now I got wheeled off for the surgery, and honestly, I was scared. I had never had surgery before and did not know what to expect but knew I was not mentally prepared for it. The entire time to the room, in the room, and during surgery I was praying over those hands being laid on me and in me. I know that to some a c-section is normal but its major surgery, and there could be complications, and I could have died from it. I was so scared. Finally they brought Charles in and he sat right there by my head, and prayed for me/with me. The surgery itself was very odd to me, I felt so much, but I know that in reality I felt barely anything.

The next thing I knew the doctor said "Dad, would you like to see your son" and Charles stood up and looked over the curtain, and I just heard Ethan crying. They let Charles go over and do whatever they do over there, and hear I was laying on a operating table balling my eyes out because all I can do is hear the nurses say that he was "a big boy", Ethan crying his little heart out, and Daddy saying that Ethan was "grumpy". My little boy was over there and I couldn't see him or hold him or comfort him or anything. I just wanted to see him. Or have Charles tell me something. Anything, but I was stuck.

Within minutes though, Charles brought him over and showed him to me, and I cried even harder.  There he was, my little boy, the little boy that Charles and I had prayed over for months and months, that I wanted my entire life, he was RIGHT THERE. Charles said "the nurses say they think hes about 10 lbs" and we both were in just tears over this miracle that was in his arms. I doubt either of us expected that much love, and emotion that quickly. It was amazing.
 Me meeting my precious son for the first time
Our first family picture

Ethan Michael Henry was born on January 22 at 4:34pm. He was 21.5 inches long and officially weighed 8lb 13oz (the nurses were a bit off). And at that moment, our lives were complete.

Charles then went off with Ethan while they finished putting me back together and then I waited for him to bring the little guy back into my room, for the longest 45 minutes of my life.

Me feeding my boy for the first time
We learned after the fact, that the reason I was not dialating was because Ethan was crooked inside me. With every contraction it was pushing his head into my pelvic bone (poor guy).

Now, this is not the birth story I wanted, nor planned. In fact it was my "worse case senario" but I see that God planned it this way. He was right there the entire time and played everything the way I needed it so that I would not have regrets or anger about this exeperience. He gave me the right nurses and doctors to listen to me, and allow me to control the pace and not feel pushed or rushed into any decision.  It was not my way, but it was God's way, and I would not have it anyother way. Not to mention that the end goal had always been Ethan, and guess who is right here next to me....a beautiful healthy Ethan.

Lastly when going through pictures, I found this treasure. Dad videoed this for me, and I didnt know until now. It literally made me cry.


amanda said...


That was a wonderful story and as I read it, it brings me to tears thinking about the birth of my princess. I wanted the whole natural experience as well. I had the same issue with the not dialating. I was so upset when they said c-section that I bawled saying that I failed. Congratulations on little Ethan he is absolutely beautiful.

Abby Serio said...

Kari he is perfect, and Bless God you are all safe. Congratulations on the most amazing accomplishment of your life: bringing a precious child of God earthside! *hugs*

Megan said...

CONGRATS!!!!! How precious...This is going to sound soo weird but this is almost like mine. I was only 23 hours but had all the same problems and they only poked me once...But yes i could just feel your pain reading though this. And laying on the table with your belly cut open and hearing your child crying! Thats the worse isnt it! They wouldnt even let me see suri until i was in the room which was like a hour+ And they wouldnt allow cameras in. I was sooo upset. But anyway! what a blessing and hes soooo cute. Truly one of the best gifts from God!!!

Kari Hache said...

Amanda, like i mentioned in the story, God planned it in the only possible way for me to not feel like a failure. If we had known that he was crooked then we could have done something more, but given the knowledge we had, we made the best decision for us. And because of that, I have moments of disappointment, but they are waves in between knowing that we did this the way God called us to, for whatever reason.

Megan, i would have DIED if they had not let me see Ethan for that hour. Like absolutely died.

Thomas Fryman said...

yes god does work in different ways than we do,but he has his best ways for us,I didnt get to c my oldest or my middle girls being born cuz their moms and i was not together and they wherent talking to me,I didnt even know that my oldest was even born til a month after she was and i learned it form my cousin that she was and then her mother from then on til she was nine pretty much keeped her form me,and on my middle daughter i dent even know how to even to get in touch with her mother and i learned that she was born through the news paper and then when she was nine i finally got to meet her and spend some time with her before the courts pulled her away form me and sent her to new york to live with her sisters dad,on my last daughter i got to c her being born and when i saw her head i started crying it was so amazing that it hurt that i never got to c my other two being born,even though it hurts that i never got to c them being born i know it was gods way and he had his reasons for the way things turned out,i know u feel a lil disappointed in not haven him natural like u two wanted,but never let it get u down cuz u have to remember it was gods way and it was for a reason he had for it that it happend that way,u may not know y for years or never know y,but never lose faith in god on the way thing intend to happen if they dont go the way u want them too,cuz i know it aint hard to do it cuz ive done it myself and cried to god many of times to ask y.I want so say congrats on lil Ethan,he is so adorable that im so proud of u two,keep ur faith strong.

amanda said...

Very true GOD had his plan:)

amanda said...

Very true GOD had his plan:)