Oh my love, how could I be so blessed as to have you love me so deeply? How did God see me as worthy, even as I was living in sin, to grant me the love I have begged for years to have?
My life has been so chaotic, and has so many low points. It would be very easy to fall into a "woe is me" outlook of life. I could easily curse God for all the pain that I went through. But I see it all as a way to help me grow and make me who I am. There are so many scars in my past that I wish were not there. However I can see each step brought me right into your arms.
A friend recently stated to me, "Ugh, Why couldn't you and Charles find each other sooner?" and it was so easy for me to answer, "Because we would have been a mess for each other". God knew better than us. God knew what we needed to go through in our individual lives before we could come together and love each other so fully and completely.
From the first moment you looked at me and said "I love you" I have never doubted it. During our lowest low, I still knew. The biggest doubt I had ever had was, "will this intense deep love last?" "will I ever be good enough to deserve this, and keep you around?" Well my love, I still doubt myself, but you have spent everyday out our last year together building me up and making me feel more love than I ever knew was possible. I believe in you. I believe in your love. I believe that those eyes look at me with as much love as your words profess. I believe it, and I love it!
For years I prayed to God for a family, I begged God for a Christian husband, I cried to Him regularly to fill my womb with a child. And finally those prayers have been answered, but no where near how I thought they would be. Thank God, He knows better than I do. Thank God that He knew that there was a man waiting for me, and was going to fulfill ALL of those prayers.
I am in complete awe with how God has orchestrated my life. And I thank Him daily for allowing me to have a husband who strives daily to show Christ's love to me, to lead this family the way God calls you too, and to be a better man.
I am so proud of you and the man of God you are becoming. You're growth and change that I have seen in the last year is admirable. You are growing in the the man God wants you to be. I cannot wait to see who you become and stand next to you as you grow. I love you Charlie.
Your devoted loving wife,