Wednesday, May 2, 2012

What I deserve

My life has not been perfect. I have done quite a few things that are not things that "good Christians" should do. And I held alot of shame over those things for a long time. It wasn't until a friend approached me (with equal types of "bad" things in her past" and asked me, if I have a problem forgiving those who have hurt me, or forgiving myself for the bad I have done. This really got me thinking. The quick answer was no, I no longer feel guilty. But then I had to ask myself "Why?"

I do not "deserve" the blessings that God has given me, I do not "deserve" this amazing family i have, I do not "deserve" this second...third...forth...etc chance that I have been given. And then it clicked. I do not "deserve" any of this. But isn't that alone, the whole point. We as humans do not deserve the eternale life God has promised. We will never live up to those standards and we will never be "good enough".

I told my friend (which was God speaking through me, considering it was in the moment, and wasn't until hours later I realized how true of a statement I was making) that once I truly gave my life over to Jesus, and leaned on him for my salvation. Once I made life style changes to become a child of God and not a child of Satan, that God had forgiven me. I had become a new creation in Christ. I was no longer who I had been, but I was now God's chosen child. The old me was gone.

So as a follower of Jesus, once I asked for his forgiveness, he wiped my sin away, made me white as snow. He no longer held those sins over me. So if the creator of the universe had forgiven me, and I had made life style changes, and I was now walking as a child of God, then why shouldn't I deserve the blessings God has given me.

I will never be deserving of God's goodness. I will never be sinless. I will never be all that I should be. But I try everyday to be a little bit better and I believe that God sees that I am trying and honors that.

There are two songs that helped me during my walk back to Christ, two songs that made me realize, I am not who I was, I am not the mistakes I made. I am Kari Rose Hache. And Jesus Christ loves me and has forgiven me. I hope that if you are struggling through past sins, and whether or not you deserve anything new they will help you too.

Change in the Making
Addision Road

You are More
Tenth Avenue North

Just remember two truths from these songs. God is not done with you yet and you are more than the sins you have made. I pray that this blog reaches someone deeply, because it has been just tugging at my heart for days to write. If you have any questions, or need to talk more in depth about Gods love for you, about his forgiveness, or about how you can also be free from bondage, please comment or email me at I would LOVE to talk to you.


Anonymous said...

Thank you Kari for sharing, I really needed to read this.

Kari Hache said...

I am so glad it helped you! If just one person benefits from it, it is all worth it! <3