Community

Today at church our pastor gave a sermon on community. He talked about how the people in your life can make or break who you are. He used the bible verse Proverbs 13:20 as a reference which says:

Walk with the wise and become wise,
for a companion of fools suffers harm.

Well as great as that verse is, the footnotes in my bible made it mean so much more. They said:

"The old saying "A rotten apple spoiles the barrel" is often applied to friendships, and with good reason. Our friends and associates affect us, sometimes profoundly. Be careful whom you choose as your closest friends. Spend time with people you want to be like -- because you and your friends will surely grow to resemble eachother"

 

This really hit me hard. You see I have a couple close friends here in Texas, and they are all about to leave (the joys of living near a military base). In preparation for this change, I have been trying to put myself out there so I can make new friends. I have been very specific at where I look for these friends. I joined a La Leche League (LLL) Facebook Group for a local group, and went to one of their meetings. I met a very nice woman through them that I am very much enjoying getting to know. I have also been in contact with a Cloth Diapering group that meets once a month for play group, but haven't been able to meet with them yet. But other than that its been church related places. Small Groups or our church Facebook page, play groups, etc.

 

It is very important to me that the friends I bring into my life are good Christian women. For the exact reason stated in that quote "Spend time with people you want to be like....[you] will surely grow to resemble eachother."

 

I have spent so much time over the past 3 years becoming a person that I can be fairly proud of, and I do not want to throw that away now by choosing the wrong company. I know how much people can affect your thinking and decisions. As a mother, wife and especially a Christian, I have to stand up for what I believe in. And I need others who will help.

 

Now don't get me wrong, I definitely do not think that means that I can only hang out with or be friends with "perfect" Christian people. Jesus himself hung out with the worst of sinners. I just think that my closest friends, the people I count on, the people I turn to in times of need, know the Lord. And in the meantime, I reach out to those who may not know the Lord, or who may need love and I show it to them. Having a good backing of friends and spiritual strength will certainly help that.

Judgment Control

It is very obvious by now...I am a Christian. And as a Christian I know that I am not to judge. God is our only judge and it is not my place to say what you should be doing, or anything like that. It is my job to love you, and if you are open to it, teach you (still through love). Well I am having a hard time on this subject lately. And it is affecting my life hardcore.

I am so passionate about the topics of breastfeeding, circumcision, elective c-sections, etc. When I hear about people going against "my" views on this, I literally get angry. I throw a fit. Get all worked up.

Then I have to step back (normally at Charlies encouragement) and realize its not my life, its not my body, its not my baby. And just because I think that its the best option (and have medical reasons to back me up) it still isn't really any of my business. People will do what they will do and bombarding them with guilt, or scary facts is not loving them.

So I confess and I am walking away. As best as I can that is. If I know you, and you are pregnant, and I seem a bit distant on this subject and you think that is a little weird, its because I just can't put my heart in it anymore. I will most likely ask once, and depending on your answer that will be the end. But if I see facebook posts that don't agree with my opinion, I am just going to stop looking, not get my heart broken.

I promise you though, I have the best of intentions. I love your babies, and I want them to have the best healthiest life possible. Sorry if it comes out condescending or rude.

Infant Baptism. To do or not to do?

My first free writing blog in a while, and I chose a touchy subject. But I like it. My husband was raised Catholic, therefore he was baptized as an infant. The Catholic Church baptizes infants because they believe that it is a "remission of sin, both original sin and actual sin–only original sin in the case of infants and young children, since they are incapable of actual sin"(http://www.catholic.com/tracts/infant-baptism). They believe that because the Bible never specifically talks against infant baptism and talks on several occasions that "entire families" were baptized, that this is to include infant and children. They want to assure that the infants in their families will be accepted into heaven if, heaven forbid, they were to die before they choose to baptize themselves. Because of this thinking Catholics baptize their children as infants.

I have never seen an infant baptism be
done this way, but its so cute.

I was not raised in the church, and was not baptized as an infant. My mother and father never attended church so I doubt the thought had ever crossed their mind.

When Charlie and I were pregnant and discussing baptism, I told him that I did not agree with infant baptism, and would like to wait until Ethan decides to accept Jesus as his Savior on his own to allow him to be baptized. I believe that children are without sin and that until the age of reason (which is believed by some to be around seven, but I don't believe to put an age on it. God will judge this) if they were to die that God will accept them into heaven freely.

One thing I just can not wrap my mind around is the thought that if you are baptized as an infant you are automatically making it into heaven. The bible is very clear that you still have to make the decision and give your life over to Christ. And I believe that the baptism is "an outward expression of an inward decision." So, this is why I believe that until you make the inward decision, there is no point to make the outward expression. We have a loving God and a merciful God, and I see no proof in the bible that if your baby is not baptized and dies before "the age of reason/accountability" that He will send that baby to Hell forever. It just doesn't fit to me.

a little over the top, but still funny

When I first brought this idea up to my husband, he was a little unsure. Still having the Catholic raising in the back of his head he questioned me, the process and did a lot of research. In the end, he and I decided we would "dedicate" Ethan at our Church. I believe this is as close to infant baptism as I would do. This means that we stood up in front of our church and we said to them, "we promise to be the best Christian parents we can be, we will raise him in a Christian home and we look to you (the congregation) for guidance and assistance." We did this on his 3 week birthday.

I know that their are alot of different belief's on this topic, and I would be interested to hear your thoughts. Do you believe in infant baptism, why or why not?

6 Months down -- a relook at resolutions

2012 New Year's Resolutions

(in no particular order)

1. Become a mother. And do the best job I know how to do at it. Consult others, learn what I can learn, make mistakes and grow from that. I pray that I am receptive to the teachings that come my way, but that I do whats right for my family. I pray that Charles and I are in unity about all parenting decisions that are made and I do not "take" over the job. Most of all, when I am unsure of the right answer, go to the one that has the answer: God.
Check. I have the most amazing 6 month old little guy and I am trying my best. Sometimes I "take over" and I am really trying to get better. But I am doing the best I currently can.

2. Be strong and submissive. When Charles and I got married he made me a promise to be the leader of this family (as I asked him to be). I have never had a person leading my spiritual life, and its the best feeling ever, and sometimes its hard for my stubborn self. So I resolve, to continue to grow in Christ and do what I need to do to become who he made me be, AND be submissive to the biblical athority that God has given Charles, and he has agreed to hold.
Check? I think I am doing this. Ask Charlie for clarification. I try daily. I fail. I never claim to be perfect, but I am trying.

3. Lose this baby weight. My family has a hard time losing weight after a baby. We tend to have a 5 year old (or older) and still blame the overweight status on the baby weight. My goal is to get to prepregnancy size by the end of the year (or sooner, but in a healthy way). This resolution has a part two: I would like to show Ethan a healthy lifestyle as a parent. No eating out. Eating Healthier around the house. Adding physical fitness to a regular part of life, even just small additions of walking more.
Mostly fail on this one. Where I have lost 40 of the 80 lbs I put on during pregnancy I have not changed my eating habits very much. We eat out way more than "never". Physical fitness is daily on my to do list yet rarely completed.

4. Thrive to be a better wife. I know that if you ask Charles, he would say that I do a wonderful job as a wife, and I am glad that I make him happy, but in every job in our lives we could always do better. And I do not want to become "comfortable" in our marriage. I want to continue to grow as a wife and as a couple. Our relationship is fairly new still and has so much potential and I want to continue as great as we have been so far.
Ask Charlie. I strive to continually get better and I do regularly check in with him to make sure there is no way I am failing. He is constantly telling me that he is happy, so who knows, maybe he is. :)

5. Go home. By the end of 2012 I want to be in a home, that we can call home long term, in Michigan. Neither of us are "happy" in Texas, and we both want to move. And Michigan is my home, and after a visit there, Charles agrees to make it home for us. I miss my sister. I want Ethan to grow up near his 4 month older cousin.
This one seems to be falling to the wayside. It is still a desire of ours, but it doesn't seem to be something that will be done this year...We will see what/where God wants to be. And we are happy to follow Him and wait as long as need be to be back in Michigan.

6. Make a sizable dent into our debt. I do not have unrealistic expectations and I know that with me not working for a chunk of the new year, and a move deleting our debt is pretty impossible, but I would like to start 2013 with less debt than we are going into 2012.
Well what can I say to this. Our debt is not getting any worse. We did pay off two of our "Same as cash" things on one of our cards before interest was accured. And we have a plan to get things under control. But with my current work situation we are bringing in way less than we would like, but both believe time with Ethan is much more important than more money.

7. Read more. Watch TV less. I feel so much better about myself if I spend 8 hours in a book than if I spend 8 hours watching TV. And I know that when I read more, I read more Christian Self Help books, which make me a better person. My goal is at least, AT LEAST, 3 books a month. Thats 36 books in a year. And if even one of those 3 are a self help book, thats 12 books that I have read that make me better.
Yea....major fail. I have read a total of 4 books this year. Not good, and no excuse why.

8. Continue reading the bible daily. Over the last 2 years this has been a committment of mine. And in 2010 I read everyday except, maybe 5 days. In 2011 I hit a rough patch in my spiritual journey and did much worse off, but since August 1, 2011 we (my husband and I) have read everyday. This is a habit that dramatically affects my life. I can't (or dont) go off God's course for me, if I keep him in my everyday life. Not to mention, I want Ethan to grow up and see that his mom and dad were in God's word EVERY DAY.
Win, we have read it everyday....except one last week. Somehow our routine got messed up and we just lost it. However I believe that one day we miss in nearly a year is still a win.

9. Do not eat the bread of idleness. This comes from Proverbs 31. In God's discription of a Godly Wife he states that she does not eat the bread of idleness. I fail miserable at this. I procrastinate, spend way to much time on the computer when I should be doing other things (like now for example). My realistic goal here is, if I know something needs to be done, do it. And then play later. For example, how often do you put off doing the dishes, when in all honesty, it probably takes 15 minutes to do them (max), and if you just do it. Then you can enjoy your down time better without thinking the whole time, "Man, I know I should be doing the dishes", also if you just keep up on things, it makes it so much easier.
Fail. Dishes don't get done as often as needed. Books are not being read. Working out not being done. Ethan getting pushed aside. Facebook and blogging however, are being done. :(

10. Lastly, be more open with Christ to others. I want to bring others to God, and I want to be a role model as a Christian for others. I do not want to be ashamed or quiet about my faith. I want to speak up. Bring others in. So this goal is bluntly, OPEN MY MOUTH about Jesus.
Well....Charlie is doing great about this, so I recently looked at my life and asked why I wasn't doing as good. I realized it is because I don't have people in my life that are no Christians. However, the people that I do meet that I do not know if they are Christians, I make sure they know that I am as well....Sure thats like one in 6 months, but hey.

Well there you have it. Some wins, some fails. Now I need to recommit to do better. Here goes.

Day 29 -- Top 5 Favorite Bible Verses

1. I love this verse for many reasons. One, because I have been here. I have wanted to do good, but kept doing bad. It was an internal battle that I was fighting and continually losing. I also love this verse, however, because of the wording. It's so confusing to read until you slow down and read it. I love Paul and how direct he is with his wording too.

¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.   For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.  Romans 7:15-20

 2. This verse gives me so much comfort. When you are tired, weary, or weak, turn to God. He will give you strength you never knew you could have. He will help you through the darkest and hardest times, as long as you focus on Him.

²⁸ Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint. 

Isaiah 40:28-31

3. This is a prayer I pray regularly. We read through Proverbs once a month, and each month when I get to this prayer, I renew it in my mind. I know that I am the type of person that if I have to much, I will not need to rely on God therefore He will not be number one in my life. However if I have to little, I may do things that are also against God. I thank God for giving me "just enough"

⁷ “Two things I ask of you, Lord;
do not refuse me before I die:
⁸ Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread.
⁹ Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’
Or I may become poor and steal,
and so dishonor the name of my God.

Proverbs 30:7-9

 4. This verse has helped me through some of my darkest times. I knew that no matter what I was going through, if I was called "according to His purpose" then it would ultimately be good.

²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

 5. Last but not least. This verse is a feel good verse for me. Three simple statements that say it all. "The Lord is good" "a refuge in times of trouble" and "he cares for those who trust in Him" Its just so good.

⁷ The Lord is good,
a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him

Nahum 1:7

There you have it, 5 amazing verses in the bible. Its hard for me to say that they are my "favorite" but these verses have definitely helped me in one time or another in my life. I tried to choose ones that were not so mainstream as a way to help broaden the bible verses my readers get to see. My prayer now is that one of these verses touch your heart.

Day 1 -- 15 facts about me

1. Thankful for my heavenly Father and Chuck, because without them, I would be an orphan by more than just official definition.

2. I used to live by the philosophy "I will try anything once" but that didn't work out so well, now I live by, "I will do anything to glorify God".  

3. There are days I talk to my sister on the phone for hours (literally), and when asked what we talked about, I would have no answer.

4. I read my bible everyday. I began this habit in 2010, and had some breaks in 2011 (that was a rough year for me) but have no missed a day since last August. It is amazing how much you learn and grow when you are determined to read God's word daily.

5. My mom always cooked "with a pinch of this" or "a splash of that", never having measurements. I can say that I have become that type of a cook too. My chili recipe (and others) is never the same twice.

6. I am incredibly self conscious. I gained nearly 80 pounds when pregnant with Ethan, and have lost 40 pounds so far, but I have a hard time looking in the mirror at times.

7. I lived in Europe for nearly 6 years, and traveled and saw a ot of things, but I have never been happier than I am now.

8. I met my husband at Lowe's (where we both worked at the times) and my first impression of him was that it was creepy how he always smiled at me.

9. Charlie and I got married in Las Vegas a mere 3 1/2 months after we started dating. Have never second guessed it, and never looked back. I got me a good man, and I am happy.

10. I will forgive anyone who wrongs me, no matter what they did. Because I know the cost of forgiveness. It has been held from me, when I was truly sorry, and I have been forgiven for my many wrongs. Not to mention, if Christ can forgive a sinner like me, who am I to withhold forgiveness from you. But don't take me generosity lightly, just because I forgave you, doesn't mean I will allow you to continue hurting me. Jesus says to forgive 7 x 77 times, but he doesn't say I have to keep allowing you in my life if all you are going to do is hurt me.

11. Ethan is 4 1/2 months old, we are still breastfeeding strong (and we will be breastfeeding until he is 1 or he self weans...we haven't decided), we cloth diaper, we left him intact, and once in a while we even co-sleep. He's my first baby, and I don't know how to do everything right, so we are just doing things how we feel best. And this works for us, and we are happy.

12. I am one of the cheapest people you will meet. I am always looking for a good deal, always willing to accept something for free. Goodwill and Craigslist are very good friends of mine.

13.  I love to read, but I get lazy. I waste so much time on the computer and will go months without picking up a book.

14. I love inside jokes. I love knowing things that no one else knows. I love laughing at something that no one around gets, and even if I tried to explain it, it would not do justice.

15. I want to be the best I can be, for God, Charlie, and Ethan so I am always trying to improve for them, and not be stuck in a rut.

Juggling life

Being a wife and a mother means juggling many different things at once. Tending to the baby, keeping the house cleaned, getting dinner done, and of course I strive to be the best I can be, so I am adding on there more things. So how do I do it? There is no magic potion. The way I think that made things a bit easier is adding a little at a time, and definitely accepting help.

I am a Christian, a wife, a mother, a housekeeper, and a cook. And I want to do all these things well. I have learned that if I allow Charlie to help, then I can be better.

Charlie and I read our bible everyday, but since Ethan's arrival it was harder to find time to do it. So instead of us finding time (besides right before bed when we are both exhausted) when Ethan is asleep to read, we have gotten in the habit of Charlie reading to me every night when we bathe Ethan.

Instead of me feeling that it is completely my responsibility to keep the house up, I have learned that if I share the burden with my wonderful husband than we are both less stressed. If we both do a little, it is not overwhelming for either of us and we feel like more of a team.

This next step, was/is probably the hardest for me. Sometimes Ethan gets so fussy that there is nothing I can do to stop him from crying (crazy I know...lol) and I get frustrated. I am still learning, that it is OK to call Charlie and have him take over for a while. I mean after all we are a team.

So my biggest tip to how to juggle life is don't feel like you have to do it all yourself. You got married to have a partner, and a partner shares responsibilities. Let your spouse help.

Second of all, don't try to do it all at once. Start with what you are comfortable with. If you can't handle reading the bible everyday, do it once a week. If after dinner you are to tired to do dishes, do them in the morning. If the baby won't stop crying and nothing helps, skip bath time tonight and head straight to bed. Do the minimum that needs to be done and add a little at a time.

When you are comfortable, try adding another thing you want to do to make "you" the person you want to be. For example, I want to be the best mom I can be, so I added "Without Wednesday" to our schedule to try to focus on Ethan (and Charlie) more. I want to do more "do it yourself" things, so I am SLOWLY adding things to try to do myself (first cooking spray, then laundry detergent, bathroom cleaner, etc). I want to live more green, so we started with cloth diapers, and now we are hang drying our clothes.

I am by far an organized woman, but I love my family. This is what I have wanted my whole life, so I strive to be all I can be. It's fun to see how the little things add up and before you know it, you have implemented many things that you wanted to do. One at a time.

It all can be done, if you don't overwhelm yourself or your family. Remember, clean dishes don't mean more than a happy family. Make time for family and build that relationship. I am certain you won't think back and wish you did the dishes (this doesn't mean keep your house trashed, just focus on priorities).

Do you have any tips on how you juggle life? How do you make things run organized? I would love more tips.

New Year, New Start

I love New Years. I realize its just another day, but its something about that day that makes people (especially me) reflect on life and want to make positive changes in the future. It allows us to look at the last year and critic the good and the bad. What to do again, and what to never look at again. That being said, 2011 was a whirlwind of a year. It began with the worst year of my life (being abandoned, and getting a divorce) and ended the best I could ever even imagine (finding the love of my life, and beginning a family with him). Therefore it is hard to really look back at this year. But all the bad that happened just makes me even more hopeful about the upcoming year. My life is not that same as it was a year ago, and I cannot think of a single thing that could make it turn into that life again. All that being said, I am going to lay out some resolutions here for this year. I choose to write them in a blog, because I feel that it will hold me more accountable.

2012 New Year's Resolutions

(in no particular order)

1. Become a mother. And do the best job I know how to do at it. Consult others, learn what I can learn, make mistakes and grow from that. I pray that I am receptive to the teachings that come my way, but that I do whats right for my family. I pray that Charles and I are in unity about all parenting decisions that are made and I do not "take" over the job. Most of all, when I am unsure of the right answer, go to the one that has the answer: God.

2. Be strong and submissive. When Charles and I got married he made me a promise to be the leader of this family (as I asked him to be). I have never had a person leading my spiritual life, and its the best feeling ever, and sometimes its hard for my stubborn self. So I resolve, to continue to grow in Christ and do what I need to do to become who he made me be, AND be submissive to the biblical athority that God has given Charles, and he has agreed to hold.

3. Lose this baby weight. My family has a hard time losing weight after a baby. We tend to have a 5 year old (or older) and still blame the overweight status on the baby weight. My goal is to get to prepregnancy size by the end of the year (or sooner, but in a healthy way). This resolution has a part two: I would like to show Ethan a healthy lifestyle as a parent. No eating out. Eating Healthier around the house. Adding physical fitness to a regular part of life, even just small additions of walking more.

4. Thrive to be a better wife. I know that if you ask Charles, he would say that I do a wonderful job as a wife, and I am glad that I make him happy, but in every job in our lives we could always do better. And I do not want to become "comfortable" in our marriage. I want to continue to grow as a wife and as a couple. Our relationship is fairly new still and has so much potential and I want to continue as great as we have been so far.

5. Go home. By the end of 2012 I want to be in a home, that we can call home long term, in Michigan. Neither of us are "happy" in Texas, and we both want to move. And Michigan is my home, and after a visit there, Charles agrees to make it home for us. I miss my sister. I want Ethan to grow up near his 4 month older cousin.

6. Make a sizable dent into our debt. I do not have unrealistic expectations and I know that with me not working for a chunk of the new year, and a move deleting our debt is pretty impossible, but I would like to start 2013 with less debt than we are going into 2012.

7. Read more. Watch TV less. I feel so much better about myself if I spend 8 hours in a book than if I spend 8 hours watching TV. And I know that when I read more, I read more Christian Self Help books, which make me a better person. My goal is at least, AT LEAST, 3 books a month. Thats 36 books in a year. And if even one of those 3 are a self help book, thats 12 books that I have read that make me better.

8. Continue reading the bible daily. Over the last 2 years this has been a committment of mine. And in 2010 I read everyday except, maybe 5 days. In 2011 I hit a rough patch in my spiritual journey and did much worse off, but since August 1, 2011 we (my husband and I) have read everyday. This is a habit that dramatically affects my life. I can't (or dont) go off God's course for me, if I keep him in my everyday life. Not to mention, I want Ethan to grow up and see that his mom and dad were in God's word EVERY DAY.

9. Do not eat the bread of idleness. This comes from Proverbs 31. In God's discription of a Godly Wife he states that she does not eat the bread of idleness. I fail miserable at this. I procrastinate, spend way to much time on the computer when I should be doing other things (like now for example). My realistic goal here is, if I know something needs to be done, do it. And then play later. For example, how often do you put off doing the dishes, when in all honesty, it probably takes 15 minutes to do them (max), and if you just do it. Then you can enjoy your down time better without thinking the whole time, "Man, I know I should be doing the dishes", also if you just keep up on things, it makes it so much easier.

10. Lastly, be more open with Christ to others. I want to  bring others to God, and I want to be a role model as a Christian for others. I do not want to be ashamed or quiet about my faith. I want to speak up. Bring others in. So this goal is bluntly, OPEN MY MOUTH about Jesus.

Now friends and loved ones, I ask that you help hold me accountable to these 10 goals. I would like to look back each month at this list and evaluate how I am doing. I dont want to just let these go. Also, if you made resolutions and would also like an accountability partner, I'd love to team up on this. Let me know!