Fun Find Friday

Great way to start the day! Mama was 4 days past the due date with TWIN boys.

Her husband said, "My wife and I trying to induce twins by dancing to "Let's Get it Started" by Black Eyed Peas, at 40+ weeks pregnant after trying everything else. She went into labor two days later and had a natural, unmedicated hospital birth (with the support of our amazing midwives)".

What ways did you try to get labor started? We tried EVERYTHING! Castor oil, walking, bathes, bouncing, squats. My new philosophy, he will come when he is ready. Until then....dance it out!

C-section -- the "easy" birth

The last few days I have been overwhelmed with blogs, facebook posts, or people just saying to me that they either wished they had a C-section birth, C-sections are easier, or that I am lucky because I had a C-section. This makes me want to scream!

 I envy those who were able to give birth vaginally. I honestly feel like I failed myself because I was not able to give birth vaginally. My anger has many parts to it. First of all, a C-section is not easy and painless, C-sections SHOULD be emergency only, and the miracle of vaginally birthing your child is how God intended and therefore should be everyone's desire.

To begin with, I can promise you that C-sections are not easy, and definitely not painless. Now I realize that I have one child, born via C-section, so I can only first hand speak of the pain and suffering I went through and not what those who have birthed vaginally go through. During the C-section my body was cut open, and the doctor said I would feel "a little pressure". Well, let me tell you, that "little pressure" hurt like my insides were being torn out (and they kinda were). If that wasn't enough, I was unable to get up and move around for 24 hours, my legs were strapped in these things to pump blood through them so I did not get blood clots. My incision hurt so bad that I could not have a bowel movement without crying for 4-5 weeks. I could not cough without wincing for weeks. I could not get out of bed to get my baby and feed him easily and without pain for 3 weeks. I could not lay comfortably in bed because of my incision also for nearly 3 weeks. My incision still has a numbing feeling to it (my little guy is 3 1/2 months old). Not to mention that for the rest of my life I have a scar that constantly reminds me that I could not birth my child naturally, and I had to have a doctor cut him out of me. It was not physically easy on me. It hurt. It still hurts. And I am only speaking of physical pain.

Also, C-sections should never be a choice "just because". C-sections are major abdonimal surgery. And to have one because you are scared of labor, or because the doctor is lazy, or because YOU are lazy, is a ridiculous idea. You are willing to submit yourself to major surgery because you didn't think about the consquences of having sex COULD end in pregnancy, and if so, WOULD end in labor. You are afraid of pain, and don't think you can handle it? That is not an excuse. And neither is a "big baby". Women have been giving birth naturally for centuries. Women have been giving birth to 9+ (even 10 or 11) pound babies without drugs for a very long time. (Yes, even now, with modern medicine, some women choose to give birth naturally, and give birth to a big baby). Elective C-sections make me so angry. More could go wrong having a doctor cut you open, then giving birth vaginally. And why would you take that chance with a new baby (once again, I am speaking only about elective c-sections).

Lastly, I have cried over the fact that the birth of my son turned out the way it did. I was looking forward to giving birth to him naturally. I was not afraid of the pain, I looked forward to feeling my body do what it was made to do. I wanted to feel that. I did not want to be numbed up. God made me (and every women) with the ability and the strength to give birth naturally, and I strive to live up to what God made me to be/do.

I think that the worse part of me having to have a C-section is that it will be difficult for me to convince a lot of doctors to allow me to have a vaginal birth in the future. Now trust me when I say, it is not impossible, and as long as my body healed correctly I will be doing it. But there is false information that is being put out (by people in the medical community) that if you have a C-section, that you can never safely have a vaginal birth in the future. This is not true. It will be harder on me though, for example, my home town in Michigan has two hospitals in it, neither will allow women to have a VBAC (Vaginal birth after cesearen).

I think women need to step up and if they decide to have a baby, to be prepared for what that means. That means pushing a baby out of your body. That means taking one day of your life and being in as much pain as it takes to give your child the start that he/she deserves. That means sacraficing you. And if you are not willing to do the work, maybe you should think twice about forever changing your life and getting pregnant in the first place.

Now to finish this off, I know that the people who think that C-sections are the "easy way" are not the majority. But I have heard it enough to be angry. Also, realize that any reference to drugs during childbirth is my opinion, and I strive not to force my thoughts about this on others. If you believe that pitocin, epidural, etc is right for you, I beg you to do your research as to what that means for your child, and make an informed decision that is best for your family. And do not judge my family for the informed decisions we make.

Ethan's Debut

As many of you have been asking, and I have been eager to comply, here is the story as to how my little bundle of joy entered the world.


On Saturday, January 21, I woke up to contractions. They were not intense, but consistant and getting more as the day went on. By 11pm I was timing them less than 3 minutes apart and pretty intense (little did I know how much more intense they would get) so we headed to the birth center. When we arrived at the birth center Sandra, my midwife, took our vitals and she got a heartbeat for Ethan in the 90's (for those who are unsure of what it should be, 120 is low, and normal is 140-170) and so Sandra was terrified and we literally were on the way to the hospital within 2 minutes. The hospital was about a mile away and she had me on my hands and knees trying to change the heart rate. When we got to the hospital we never seen another heart beat that low, or anywhere out of normal. A consistant 150-160 bpm. However the nurse on duty said she was not completely satisfied with how he was responding to contractions. She wanted his heart beat to accelerate by 15 bpm for 15 seconds and Ethans was only doing 10 bpm for 10 seconds. Therefore she did not want to release me, but "I was not a prisioner" so I could leave, but I would have to sign an AMA (Against Medical Advice) and then insurance would probably not pay for the visit. So needless to say, Charles and I definitely felt like we were a "prisoner" and that made me super grumpy. However after my level headed husband and I talked about it more we realized that staying was not neccessarily the worst decision. We had set an appointment for induction on Monday anyhow and it was already Sunday morning. (Our ultrasound the week prior showed that my amoitic fluid was borderline dangerous for Ethan, so we had decided that if labor had not started on its own by Monday that we would go ahead with the induction (by then we would have been 42w1d anyhow).

About 330am, before being admitted in.

During our contemplation Sandra got a call from another patient of hers who was 36 weeks pregnant and her water had broke, so Sandra had to rush off to help her. Her partner midwife, was on call if/when we needed her to come in and be with us. So now it was just Charles and I (the only person I needed or wanted was right there holding my hand, LITERALLY the entire time).

1030am, I am trying to keep a smile, but you can see how exhausted I am.

Much worse picture of me, but better shows my status.

So we finally made the decision to be admitted into the hospital and start the induction. By 5am the doctor had given the order to start, very slowly, the pitocin. At this time I was a tight 3 cm dialated. By 9am, contractions got worse, and I was 5 cm. This is also when the doctor decided to break my water. Which was so low that there was hardly anything to come out. Ethan was ready to be born.  Charles said that when the nurse told me that I was 5 cm I looked so releived (and I was, I felt like I was half way there, and I could handle these contractions. I felt like I was doing just fine). Between 9am and 11am though, is when things started to take a turn for the worse for me. Contractions started to get much worse, and I was barely being able to handle them. I was looking forward to being checked again at 11am, because the nurses had told me that the average was a cm an hour and I was praying to be at 7 cm and that we were getting closer. But when I was checked at 11am, I was only 6 cm.


This is when I mentally and physically broke down. It had been 26 hours of being awake, constant contractions and over 12 hours since I had last eaten, and the contractions were literally 1.5 minutes apart and soooo intense. I was just spent. I needed a break and there was not a break to be seen. When the nurse left the room after that check, I turned to Charles and broke down crying, and telling him I needed the epidural. He knew how much I was against it, so he encouraged me to keep it up and telling me how awesome I was doing and that I could do it. I balled my eyes out and told him that at the VERY BEST I had 5+ hours left of this and I just couldn't do that without a break. I just needed to rest, and I knew that the epidural could allow a rest. I begged and begged. Once he realized that I was sure about my decision and knew I would not regret it, we told the nurse.


This was approximately noon and the nurse said that it would take about 30 minutes to get the guy in there to give it to me. Well that 30 minutes turned to an hour, and the contractions were still not giving me any break. I was crying, I was in pain, I just couldn't handle it. Finally he showed up and gave me the epidural, but it took him (and I promise you I am not exagerating at all here) 6 times to get the needle in the "right" spot on me. And if you have had an epidural before, you know they are painful, and you have to stay very still, ALL WHILE GOING THROUGH CONTRACTIONS. VERY intense contractions by this point. Finally he said that he got it in and I should be experiencing relief within minutes. And I was. Finally....I could breathe, I could handle a contraction without crying. But then within minutes, the pain returned, but only on one spot on my hip and right in the middle of my butt. And at first it was managable but still there, then just minutes later, they got to the point of crying again, and they said that I couldn't have anymore of the epidural then I had, but I was still feeling everything.


So the guy called his boss in to check it out, and they decided to poke me AGAIN to try to get the epidural in the right spot. So I get stuck a seventh time, and an eight time (not kidding). But finally it worked, and finally (its 1:30-2:00 by now) I get relief, I could rest. God answered my prayer. I felt like I could handle anything now that I could take a break from the constant pain.


At 3pm the nurse checked me again....still 6 cm. I had been at 6 cm now for 4 hours and not progressing. So the doctor came in and explained to me that I was nearly at my max dosage of pitocin (38 cc) and not progressing at all. She said, she knew I did not want a c-section and it was completely my choice, but from the looks of things it looked like we could continue like this for days with no progress. Ethan had JUST started showing slight signs of distress from the contractions, so it was just up to us. Charles looked at me, and said, "I think we need to do it hun" and I agreed. So we told the doctor that we could go ahead and do the c-section.




Minutes prior to the surgery

The next step was to call my sister and mother in law so they knew what was going on (Charles had kept them updated through out the night as well). And they both promised prayers, as well as Ethan's Godmother and my Aunt Trixie (the same wonderful woman). And right before I was being taken away the "on call midwife" showed up and prayed with me. And Charles and I prayed together. A lot of prayers were going up on my behalf, and those were the only ones that prayed with me, or directly IN THE MOMENT told me they were praying, but I know that many others were as well.


Dad scrubbed up, and ready to go


Now I got wheeled off for the surgery, and honestly, I was scared. I had never had surgery before and did not know what to expect but knew I was not mentally prepared for it. The entire time to the room, in the room, and during surgery I was praying over those hands being laid on me and in me. I know that to some a c-section is normal but its major surgery, and there could be complications, and I could have died from it. I was so scared. Finally they brought Charles in and he sat right there by my head, and prayed for me/with me. The surgery itself was very odd to me, I felt so much, but I know that in reality I felt barely anything.


The next thing I knew the doctor said "Dad, would you like to see your son" and Charles stood up and looked over the curtain, and I just heard Ethan crying. They let Charles go over and do whatever they do over there, and hear I was laying on a operating table balling my eyes out because all I can do is hear the nurses say that he was "a big boy", Ethan crying his little heart out, and Daddy saying that Ethan was "grumpy". My little boy was over there and I couldn't see him or hold him or comfort him or anything. I just wanted to see him. Or have Charles tell me something. Anything, but I was stuck.


Within minutes though, Charles brought him over and showed him to me, and I cried even harder.  There he was, my little boy, the little boy that Charles and I had prayed over for months and months, that I wanted my entire life, he was RIGHT THERE. Charles said "the nurses say they think hes about 10 lbs" and we both were in just tears over this miracle that was in his arms. I doubt either of us expected that much love, and emotion that quickly. It was amazing.

 Me meeting my precious son for the first time

Our first family picture

Ethan Michael Henry was born on January 22 at 4:34pm. He was 21.5 inches long and officially weighed 8lb 13oz (the nurses were a bit off). And at that moment, our lives were complete.


Charles then went off with Ethan while they finished putting me back together and then I waited for him to bring the little guy back into my room, for the longest 45 minutes of my life.

Me feeding my boy for the first time

We learned after the fact, that the reason I was not dialating was because Ethan was crooked inside me. With every contraction it was pushing his head into my pelvic bone (poor guy).


Now, this is not the birth story I wanted, nor planned. In fact it was my "worse case senario" but I see that God planned it this way. He was right there the entire time and played everything the way I needed it so that I would not have regrets or anger about this exeperience. He gave me the right nurses and doctors to listen to me, and allow me to control the pace and not feel pushed or rushed into any decision.  It was not my way, but it was God's way, and I would not have it anyother way. Not to mention that the end goal had always been Ethan, and guess who is right here next to me....a beautiful healthy Ethan.


Lastly when going through pictures, I found this treasure. Dad videoed this for me, and I didnt know until now. It literally made me cry.

Waiting Game

As I sit here 40+2 pregnant, I am anxious, to say the least, to meet my little guy. And earlier this morning I was on a pregnancy forum, and many women who were my same pregnant (give or take a day) were all talking about how they were going to get induced within the next few days. This made me think about how Charles and I are choosing to have our birthing experience and how vastly different it will be compared to many women.

First of all, we are having our baby at a birthing center, (a center staffed by midwives certified in birthing) and unless something goes wrong, there will be no doctors or drugs. Those two facts alone make most American women freak out. But as my very good friend says, "Giving birth is a natural bodily function for women, and doesn't need a doctor. Do you go to the doctor when you have to take a poop?"

Our bodies, women, are designed by the creator to give birth to babies, we do not need doctor interference, and we especially do not need drug interference. There are SO many side effects that are never taken into consideration with Pictocin and the Epidural (two of the most common drugs given to women) and instead of these given to women as an exception, they are the norm. If you go into a hospital and say "I don't want any drugs", its difficult to get support, they will keep coming back asking and asking, until (a lot of the time) in a moment of weakness, you give in. Its so frustrating to me.

Another thing that gets my blood boiling is the medical interference of Cesarean's. I believe that C-sections are a wonderful invention, when needed. They have saved many babies and mamas lives. I am all for that. That being said, they are being used way to often. The U.S has a rate of 31.5% (as of 2004), an all time high. For a very long time the World Health Organization (WHO) had said that the optimum rate for C-sections was 5-10%, this has recently been changed.

 Now here is where I choose to be very much a conspiracy theorist. I truly believe this is because doctors in America are lazy. There was this graph that I saw once (and I cannot find it now for the life of me) that showed that C-sections go through the roof after 5PM and Friday afternoon. This tells me that the doctors hate no being able to control birth, they want to go home for the day/weekend, and a c-section can be done in minutes as compared to a vaginal birth which can sometimes take 20-30+ hours. Now, let me restate that I know this is not all inclusive, and that not all doctors are out to cut me. But I think the rising rates in C-sections is just plain alarming. (And little side note: You can have a baby vaginally after a C-section, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.)

And another thing, if women were allowed to get up and move around during labor, instead of trapped on the bed, giving birth in the most convenience position for doctor, but awful for mama and baby, I completely believe that labors would be much easier for all involved. But because of "liability" or blah blah blah, you have to be strapped to a fetal monitoring device (which btw have no stastical benefit to mom or baby) which allows little movement. Let mama get up and move around, it will help her during labor.

Next soap box I choose to stand on is induction of labor. (But this is also a subject that is bothering me quite a bit right now for moral reasons. It is one topic that I will state my opinion, and then tell my struggle). There is no reason for a woman to be physically or medically induced just because she is 40 weeks pregnant. There is no danger for the baby until 42 weeks (minimum). I recently read an interesting article on this topic (Estimated Due Dates) and we truly need to just be patient and let our body do what it needs to do.

Now here is my struggle. I hate inducing labor with drugs, and honestly I think I just don't trust them. I think that any birth inducing drug that has a side effect of "death" for mama or baby, should not be used. I also think that God will bring your baby into this world when He's good and ready to. Now that being said, I am SO tempted to try the Castor Oil Method of induction tonight. And I fight, because although it is "natural" way to induce labor, how is it really any different than having a doctor medically induce me. Aren't I still saying to God, "You are taking to long, let me try?" Isn't that exactly what Sarah did when God promised her a baby, and she gave her maidservant to Abraham because she was to old to have a baby? (Genesis 16) But I am just so dang ready to meet my little boy, and I rationalize it by saying, "its still natural, I'm just giving my body a little push in the right direction" Therefore, here I stand, at a stalemate. Feel free to give me your input on the topic.

Now my last little fit I will throw before leaving you today is this...watch how you speak to a pregnant woman.

When a woman tells you here birthing option, and its different than what you know, or your way, do not just immediately put her down. I have heard so often that I will be unable to do this, that I will be begging for the drugs. The best thing in my option, is that drugs are not an option. In order for me to get drugs, I must leave the birth center, get in my car, drive the mile to the hospital, check myself in, and then ask for them. By that time, I am sure the baby will just be here.

Also, quit telling women how big they are, that it looks like twins, they are all belly, or anything of the sort. Your best option is to not say anything about weight at all. I realize that you mean it as a compliment, but it is not taken that way. I have a weight complex no matter what, now that I am carrying nearly 60+ pounds and being constantly reminded about it, DOES NOT HELP. You would think that women that have been pregnant before would be more considerate about this, but no, they seem to be the worse. And honestly, men are much more considerate. They've learned there lesson, I assume.




Now I pray that this is the last blog I shall write as a pregnant lady, and soon, very soon, I will be holding my little boy. One more thing on this, I am not an expert, just a girl that is very passionate about this topic. If you should disagree with me, feel free to express your opinions in a respectful manner, and if I should have any facts incorrect, also feel free to correct me.

Blogs or Items of interest on the topic
http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/ (amazing movie on the topic of home births)
http://birthwithoutfearblog.com/
http://texasbirthcenter.com/ (my birth center. My midwife is Sandra TallBear)