Judgment Control

It is very obvious by now...I am a Christian. And as a Christian I know that I am not to judge. God is our only judge and it is not my place to say what you should be doing, or anything like that. It is my job to love you, and if you are open to it, teach you (still through love). Well I am having a hard time on this subject lately. And it is affecting my life hardcore.

I am so passionate about the topics of breastfeeding, circumcision, elective c-sections, etc. When I hear about people going against "my" views on this, I literally get angry. I throw a fit. Get all worked up.

Then I have to step back (normally at Charlies encouragement) and realize its not my life, its not my body, its not my baby. And just because I think that its the best option (and have medical reasons to back me up) it still isn't really any of my business. People will do what they will do and bombarding them with guilt, or scary facts is not loving them.

So I confess and I am walking away. As best as I can that is. If I know you, and you are pregnant, and I seem a bit distant on this subject and you think that is a little weird, its because I just can't put my heart in it anymore. I will most likely ask once, and depending on your answer that will be the end. But if I see facebook posts that don't agree with my opinion, I am just going to stop looking, not get my heart broken.

I promise you though, I have the best of intentions. I love your babies, and I want them to have the best healthiest life possible. Sorry if it comes out condescending or rude.

Chow Down at Chick-Fil-A

There as been a recent uproar against the popular food chain Chick-fil-a because the President expressed his opinion on gay marriage. Let me begin by stating that this restaurant is a fairly well known restaurant that takes a radical stance to have their establishment closed on Sundays (I know Christian bookstores that won't even take this stance). They throw profits out the window as a stance as what they believe in. The president of Chick-Fil-A, Dan Cathy, admits that his goal is to,  "To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us. To have a positive influence on all who come in contact with Chick-fil-A." He blatantly states that he is a Christian man and has Christian values.

However, in interviews this week he was asked on his view on marriage, and specifically gay marriage. He holds his stance as a Christian man stating that he believes that we are asking for God to judge us by what we are allowing marriage to be (http://news.yahoo.com/chick-fil-sandwiches-become-political-symbol-203947966--finance.html).

After thinking on this topic all day today, I went back and forth as to what I believe in this. And I finally come to a conclusion of "Bravo". As Christians in America we are allowing our belief's and integrity be stomped all over. As Casting Crowns says in their song "Slow fade", our Christian stances are becoming more and more "gray". (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QASREBVDsLk)

Cathy is a Christian man and instead of leaning one way to get more profits he stands up for what he believes in and lives by the Bible. I think that Christians and Cathy are in a lose/lose situation on this topic (and other hot topics) because if we state what we believe and what the Bible says then we are "shoving our religion on others" and being "rude". However, if we sit back and don't say anything, then we are hypocrites or compromising our position for money (or whatever it may be).

 I am not a regular Chick-Fil-A customer, but that is just because I am not a huge fan of fast food chicken. However, based on the recent news, and the upcoming "Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day" . I will choose to support the establishment more often, and encourage others to do the same.

I love to hear from you. What do you think of Dan Cathy's stance? Will you continue to support Chick-Fil-A?

Day 29 -- Top 5 Favorite Bible Verses

1. I love this verse for many reasons. One, because I have been here. I have wanted to do good, but kept doing bad. It was an internal battle that I was fighting and continually losing. I also love this verse, however, because of the wording. It's so confusing to read until you slow down and read it. I love Paul and how direct he is with his wording too.

¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.   For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.  Romans 7:15-20

 2. This verse gives me so much comfort. When you are tired, weary, or weak, turn to God. He will give you strength you never knew you could have. He will help you through the darkest and hardest times, as long as you focus on Him.

²⁸ Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint. 

Isaiah 40:28-31

3. This is a prayer I pray regularly. We read through Proverbs once a month, and each month when I get to this prayer, I renew it in my mind. I know that I am the type of person that if I have to much, I will not need to rely on God therefore He will not be number one in my life. However if I have to little, I may do things that are also against God. I thank God for giving me "just enough"

⁷ “Two things I ask of you, Lord;
do not refuse me before I die:
⁸ Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread.
⁹ Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’
Or I may become poor and steal,
and so dishonor the name of my God.

Proverbs 30:7-9

 4. This verse has helped me through some of my darkest times. I knew that no matter what I was going through, if I was called "according to His purpose" then it would ultimately be good.

²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

 5. Last but not least. This verse is a feel good verse for me. Three simple statements that say it all. "The Lord is good" "a refuge in times of trouble" and "he cares for those who trust in Him" Its just so good.

⁷ The Lord is good,
a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him

Nahum 1:7

There you have it, 5 amazing verses in the bible. Its hard for me to say that they are my "favorite" but these verses have definitely helped me in one time or another in my life. I tried to choose ones that were not so mainstream as a way to help broaden the bible verses my readers get to see. My prayer now is that one of these verses touch your heart.

Day 26 -- Describe a dark/turbulent moment in your life

I have been dreading this blog for the entire month. I know exactly what time period I am going to write about, I just am not sure "how" to write it. How much detail to go in to? Whether I should go into detail at all. Its been a battle. I still don't know the answer to it, but I am going to start writing right now and see where it leads me.

I will start with a tiny back story. I was a "Christian" by name only for many years. Sure, I would go to church, and even bible study. But I never really gave my life over to God for real until after 2009/2010. And this was during/right after I hit the lowest low of my life. I was previously married to my high school boyfriend. And our entire marriage was tainted by infidelity, lies, insecurities, control and lots of other evil. This gave Satan the perfect foothold into my life to finish the evil he started. Now don't get me wrong, I am not "blame shifting" here, I accept full responsiblity of my actions. I just know that in my weakness and distraction, I gave Satan the perfect opportunity to plant seeds in my life.

 In 2008 he deployed to Iraq and our marriage was in a rough spot as it was. The day he left, neither of us knew how that deployment would affect us. Neither of us were mentally ready face such a challenge. For a couple of months though, things turned around, and I was trying to turn back to God and do good. He was trying to help as well.

But then Satan grabbed a hold of me, and refused to let go....and I didn't fight it much. From the months of November 2008 until May 2009 I was Satan's puppet. I was the perfect definition of a "hypocritical christian". If it was wrong, I did it. I lied. I cheated. I stole. I ruined lives/families.

I lived two lives.  One life that my Christian friends and my ex-husband knew about. The one where I went to work, came home, vegged out with TV Series. And then there was other life. The one that only those apart of knew about.

During this time, I had blinders on. If I would have looked at my actions I would have known what I was doing was ungodly, it was so ungodly, that the ungodly even knew it was wrong. But I refused to look. I just kept going. I did what I wanted and was totally OK living this lie.

That is, until I was caught. (Isn't that always how it is...) God set it up where I would get caught no matter how well I thought I "covered my tracks". Once I was caught, those blinders came flying off, and I was mortified. I could not believe the things I was doing with no guilt, no shame, and no care. I just could not believe it. I still can not believe it.

 I looked in the mirror and was disgusted. I became the person I swore I would never be. I did things that I swore I would never do. I was just mortified. I made decisions during this time that were unchangable. And when I was faced with that realization, I realized that I was drowning. I lost my way and I needed help.

Praise the Lord though that when you hit the ground, you have no where to turn but up. And Jesus is always there to grab your hand and help you back to your feet....and that blog is for tomorrow. I will tell you all about how I truly found the Lord and how much it has helped me.

Day 18 -- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

For the past few months (possibly year), Charlie and I have felt like we needed to join a small group at our church and get more in depth involved with Christian people at our church, but we both have been pushing it off for one reason or another. The more we put it off, the further it got from a priority to us, and then I started to face the reality of my closest friends are leaving soon. They are still in the Army world and the Army is making them leave me in November. I started to stress because I am not in any environment to meet new people and just hanging with the same people I always hang out with, and they are leaving me.

So the idea of getting into a small group became a priority again, and I looked for one through our church and with the help of the online community with our church we chose one on Thursday nights. Well Thursday came and went, and Saturday evening it dawned on me...."Darn it, I wanted to try that small group and forgot all about it." Once I realized we missed it, I put it on our Google calendars so it wouldn't happen again.

Back to what I am proud of....Charlie and I finally made the plunge and we went to small group tonight. Satan had it out for us though, and wanted to stop us from going. First of all, we went for a drive and just wanted to get out of the house today, and ended up not back in town until 6:00PM and small group started at 6:00. Well we had to stop at the house and change Ethan and nurse him, and ended up leaving the house around 6:10PM, at that point we were both so close to nixing the whole idea, because we both hate being late. By the time we got to the church it was quarter after and I was getting frusterated because I hate being late. We walked around the building that we were told the group was in, and all the doors were locked. Finally we decided to try the main building, but by now it was 6:25PM, and I was getting grumpy and anxious.

The moment we opened the door where the group was meeting, all anxiety melted away. They were friendly, and inviting. Laughter filled the room. I was hugged hello. Ethan was loved on immediately. It was amazing. Without knowing a single person in the room, I felt like this is where God wanted me.

I am so proud of us for actually pushing through the grumpiness and getting our tushies in there. I am proud of us for opening up to the group. I am proud of us for already making sure we are going to make it a priority in the future.

As always, I would love to hear from you, have you done anything in the last few days/week that you are proud of?

Also, don't forget we are still trying to get to 100 "likes" over at our facebook page. Please head over to my facebook page and "like" us. If I get to 100 before the end of my 30 day challenge one luck winner will receive a handmade hemp bracelet and necklace.